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It was once told to me that when one door closes, another door opens. While one may not enjoy this new door. . well, you don't have any fucking choice. Right now, I tend to agree with that.


Not that my life is any sort of horrible tragedy. Quite the contrary, I am infinitely grateful for all the blessings bestowed upon me in my life. However, therein lies the question that plagues me. Am I true to myself? That is the thing I am thinking right now.. .


As if I examine myself and. . I think to myself. . how am I to act around others if I am true to myself.
Or rather, in other words, are my current mannerisms doing my inner self any sort of justice?

Sometimes I feel out of place. . as if my manners and my conscience does not quite fit given the passion instilled within my heart. i shan't go into the nonsensical chain of events that proved incendiary in the creation of these thoughts of mine but, suffice to say, I truly am examining myself in this night. I examine my lack of social tendencies and I ask myself. . is this how I am? I am young still, this is true. Yet, I ask myself wholly if my age has anything to do with my judgment.


Does my age dictate how critical I am of others? Does my age, alone, determine how much I despise the petty flaws of others when my own flaws are so great? Therein, ladies and gentlemen, lies the struggle which I deal with. . the lack of understanding with which I judge all of my social interactions up until this point where I do not believe that I am fit to exist in my own shoes.


While this does not make sense, not even to me, I just thank you for listening if anyone has done so.

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